Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
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