so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
