After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
