im six kinds of drunk right now
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
We smell like vodka and hangover
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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