accomplished twins. life is a go
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
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