I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
