We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Randomize