8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
i think im in europe. pls send help
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize