I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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