I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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