In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Sorry my hands just texted you
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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