HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
