You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I had to cum in my sink.
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