you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
