I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
