Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
