we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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