So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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