omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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