I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Randomize
