well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
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