I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Randomize
