after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
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