she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
