so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Best friends brother. Beat that.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
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