Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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