Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
