R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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