That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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