...so i touched it.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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