Dual....:-)
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
