I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
