im gay
i know
yea but for you.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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