My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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