Taylor Swift is so right about you.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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