we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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