do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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