I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
