is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
