Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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