so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Randomize
