Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
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