My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
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