She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
