remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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