Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Randomize
