I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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