ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
