Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
