So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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