let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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