So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
