I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
