i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
