I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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