So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
