I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
as a side note pls kill me
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
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