pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
