that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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