I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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