Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
