I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
