I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
Randomize
