you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Good news!! I can adult!! π turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ππ
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